“The journey between
what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of
life really takes place.“ This quote by Barbara
DeAngelis exactly
defines the last year and a half of my ever so
seemingly uninteresting life.
The moment I laid my foot on the land of
Pune (March 2011), it gave me a sneak peek of the bumpy ride ahead.
The unwillingness of coming to Pune for the intended purpose had
already sucked the fun out of moving to a new place for the first
time,making me officially tagged as a grown-up; and no accommodation added to the woes, leaving me with no
option but to spend a day on the road, cursing myself for not booking
a hotel, owing to some ego issues. This desperation led me to settle for a PG, which made my
life a suffering for a month . But, like I quoted above, the journey
had started, the journey into myself. What ensued thereafter was life
changing, not remarkable for the people around, but for me, yes.
The whole idea of pushing myself to
like and excel at something I have absolutely hated for years ,
without being paid, for indefinite time period; for the sole reason
that I didn't have the guts to take the plunge into the unexplored territories made me suffocate each day. But the fearful,
indecisive and the people pleas-er I was, I continued drowning myself
into the invisible ocean of dis-satisfaction, anger and chaos
within, only to end up making things more miserable than I had
started with. But this entire episode was a blow on my face to make
me face the fact that there is no point adding days to life, just to
be in the comfort zone which actually doesn't even, by any means,
match your own definition of comfort.
While I was silently dealing with this
trauma, I discovered what had subconsciously been bothering me since
the day I had started pondering about the whole hole-in-the-heart and
no-courage-in-the-ass syndrome I was suffering from.. With no opinion
at all and no decisive power, I had based my belief system on what I
had been taught rather than experienced. It indeed is a lame
existence. A person who doesn't hold his own opinions invariably rely
on the external sources, making him prone to a confused and
handicapped life. Voila! Know your problem? Consider it half solved.
For the rest, read 'work-in-progress'.
Came December and I was sent to
Bangalore for a month long training, which gave me an opportunity to
experience the 10 days I would take back to my grave. An 8 days vacation,
stretched to 10 filled with amusement, adventure and the
moments which succeeded in leaving an everlasting impact on my life,
my first Road Trip. I would hopefully try to come up with a
travelogue I have been promising since almost a year now. It was a
life changing experience. It altered the way I perceive life. The
roads could teach me what 25 years of schooling and the nurtured and
protected life couldn't. It charmed me into actually believing the cliché - The joy lies in not knowing what life has to offer but to
keep moving ahead with the hope of reaching the destination, savouring
the ride. Also, the roads less taken can lead you to the
breath-taking landscapes making all the pain and the struggle gratifyingly worth.
Like
Lao Tzu said,“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a
single step.”, mine has just begun with the first step of figuring
what I expect out of my life and that none except me holds the right to decide the direction to be followed to live a fulfilled life.