The moment of Realization

There always were and will always be. Perhaps, these reasons keep us grounded. Don't they?

Successful men pray to retain their titles,
A poor man tries to survive his daily battles,
A privileged kid pleads for a PSP,
A child in a slum dreams of a bicycle out of his reach,
A student prays to top the test,
A parent, for his child, wants the best.

Some fold their hands and chant mantras,
Some kneel down and offer a prayer,
Some dance, swirl and some keep silent.

The reasons to pray differ but the motto/intention remains the same: To connect to the entity that provides peace, strength and security.

Like everyone else, I have always had my own reasons to pray. However, the intensity and the reasons have changed from time to time.

At 5: Innocence
Prayer to me, at the age of 5, meant folding my hands and closing my eyes for 10 seconds. At the 11th second, the curiosity in me, residing restlessly, would coerce me to open an eye to catch a glimpse of the people around. It always made me wonder what brought them there, what went through their minds. Little did I know that life is more than watching my favorite cartoon, getting an A in a class test and eating a chocolate that made my life seem perfect to me.

At 10: Competition
Reality crept in. Expectations from life started growing. The favorite cartoon turned into a video game a friend was gifted with, the joy of being appreciated on getting an A in a class test turned into a competition. Innocent joys were replaced by things especially the ones possessed by others. Reasons pretty much remained the same but the intentions and the intensity changed.

At 15: Insecurity
Insecurity of being judged, of failure, of trying to fit in took center stage. It led to an avalanche of reasons to pray. Getting good grades was, by now, an obsession, the dress I had seen on a mannequin and had promised myself to lay my hands on, being noticed by the guy I had a crush on. The list was endless.

At 20: A moment of realization
On one fine day, the realization dawned upon me. It was a moment of enlightenment that changed my life forever. I was praying in my usual way. It has always been a direct conversation with Him. A voice whispered in my ears.

You crept in and…
Opened up the buried,
Enlightening me to my worth.

That’s when I realized...
It was You...
Who always watched me...
Sitting by myself,
Staring at naught,
Sobbing unreasonably,
Pleading for acceptance;

That’s when I realized...
It was You...
Walking with the lonesome me,
Protecting me in a cocoon unseen,
Whispering in my ears all the blessings.

(Addressed to God)

It occurred to me that God is all around and knows what is best for me. Since that day, I pray not for the things I need or want to achieve. I thank him every morning for the roof over my head, the food in my plate, the air to breathe and a healthy heart, a family that cares and someone who will love me till the end of it all.